The last couple of months have been super busy. For someone who gets easily overwhelmed, the thought of having so much to plan, shoot and edit before the year ends has already drained me even without starting with the task yet. Most of the time, our initial reaction when things get hard would be wanting to quit because we focus on what’s hard than acknowledging our strengths and the things we could learn in the process.
There was a time a couple of weeks ago when I was editing and all I could think of was to get all my pending works done and over with because it felt so exhausting. Imagine working on separate projects with the same deadline while revising other content for different projects and also setting meetings and shoots in between. It literally felt like 8 hours at work isn’t enough to finish a task. The pressure I felt over the last couple of months to produce a content was emotionally draining for me that the word “meeting” scares me. I’ve always known we’ve already entered a fast-changing Digital Era, but it felt like things that happened in 2019 came without a warning.
While I was compiling all my finished projects into one folder days before our Christmas break, I realized that this year, I had my full attention on what frustrates and upsets me. I failed to see and appreciate the things and additional skills that I learned in the past months. I was looking at my works and I realized that the Danica who graduated 4 years ago couldn’t even operate a studio light or use a lapel. I had to fake it and pretend I knew what I was doing to get the job done.
I remember 2 years ago, my first solo project was to shoot Sam Milby and Khalil’s cover of Shape Of You/Treat You Better. All I know back then was to press the recording button, film the entire thing, make sure to have wide and close up shots, aim the normal led light that I had straight to their faces just for the sake of it, and shoot. Even the editing was bad. Back then the only knowledge that I had with video editing was basic cut to cut, fade in fade out transitions, applying background music, that’s it. But syncing the audio to the video, I literally have 0 experience and knowledge.
I had my first studio pictorial last year, and it was super stressful because I do photography, but never tried a studio shoot. I had one in college, but I wasn’t the one who set up the light and I never used a trigger in that class so studio photography was literally an alien to me. I had to google the entire process, things didn’t work the way I imagined it to be so I had to press the shutter and the trigger at the same time to make the bulb work and pretend I know exactly what I was doing. The photos were okay, but since I have 0 knowledge with proper lighting and whatnot, most photos are grainy, some overexposed.
A couple of months later, I slowly found confidence in doing studio photography, play with studio lights whenever I do cover shoots or any YouTube content for that matter, use lapel and boom mics, make the most of whatever available equipment we have and make magic from there.
You see, these are the little things that I failed to appreciate in the process because I was so focused on how troubled I felt. The life I have now is a series of small victories I failed to be grateful for. I know I still have a lot to learn, but I’m thankful for where I’m at in life.
Here are some of my works between 2017-2019 that I’d love to show you guys 🙂
(will just add a few samples from the YouTube channels that I handle)